April 24, 2025

Herbs, Hype, and Horny Lies

In the ever-evolving world of wellness—where aesthetics, performance, and self-optimization reign supreme—the supplement industry thrives on buzzwords and bold claims. It's a realm where exotic-sounding compounds are hailed as miracle cures, and influencers with the combined qualifications of a ring light and a discount code pitch the latest “must-have” ingredient.

But behind the glossy packaging and self-proclaimed biohacker gurus lies a less glamorous truth: most of these trending supplements are more hype than help. So let’s peel back the foil seal, scrape off the influencer glitter, and examine some of the worst offenders currently flooding your feed (and probably your kitchen cupboard).

1. The Anti-Bloating Craze: Digestive Placebo or Real Fix?

From “bloat-reducing gummies” to “flat tummy teas,” the anti-bloating industry promises a smoother silhouette by brunch. The problem? Most of these products are filled with underdosed herbs, vague enzyme blends, and enough marketing crap to stuff a yoga mat.

Yes, peppermint oil and ginger do have legitimate studies supporting digestive benefits. But the typical “bloat blend” doesn’t contain them in meaningful doses. What you usually get is a fairy dusting of herbs backed by the science equivalent of a horoscope.

A study in Nutrition and Dietary Supplements did show a specific herbal-enzyme blend reduced post-meal bloating in healthy subjects. Great—except that blend isn’t what’s in your favourite influencer's sugar-laden chewable.
Study link

Verdict: Most “bloat blends” are underdosed, unproven, and overpriced.

2. Testosterone Hype: Stacks Without Substance

Testosterone boosters are the supplement world’s version of get-rich-quick schemes—except instead of wealth, they promise alpha status, muscle mass, and virility by Monday.

These “stacks” often throw together a random selection such as Cordyceps, Lion’s Mane, Shilajit, Tongkat Ali, and Fadogia agrestis in what can only be described as a pick 'n' mix. Let's be clear:

Lion’s Mane = Brain booster. Great for focus. Useless for testosterone.
Cordyceps = May improve endurance. Not testosterone.
Shilajit + Tongkat Ali = Some promise in specific, high-quality resin and extracts. Not miracle workers.
Fadogia agrestis = Based on rat studies and Reddit threads.

And here’s where you can spot the influencer from the formulation specialist—from across the room, with the lights off.

Most of these formulas ignore actual cofactors proven to support hormonal function—like magnesium, zinc, boron, and vitamin D. A 2019 review in the Journal of the International Society of Sports Nutrition found only 24.8% of “T-boosters” had any scientific backing at all. The rest? Snake oil with a pump cover.

Verdict: Most T-boosters are just overpriced herb blends ignoring the actual science of hormone support.

3. NMN and Longevity: The Hope and the Hype

Nicotinamide Mononucleotide (NMN) has become the anti-aging molecule du jour, thanks to its role in boosting NAD+, a coenzyme involved in cellular energy, DNA repair, and metabolic function.

It sounds like a miracle on paper—but here’s the less glamorous breakdown:

Most of the promising studies are in animals, not humans.
Human trials? Small, inconsistent, and often unimpressive.
And yes, the FDA recently ruled NMN can’t be marketed as a dietary supplement in the U.S.—but that doesn’t mean it works. It means a pharmaceutical company filed an Investigational New Drug (IND) application to study it as a prescription therapy.

That’s a strategic move, not an endorsement of effectiveness. Over 90% of INDs never lead to an approved drug.

Even if NMN does eventually prove to have longevity benefits, that assumes you’re actually getting real, high-quality NMN—which is a gamble. Many over-the-counter NMN products:

Contain far less than advertised amounts
Are chemically unstable, degrading into less effective compounds during shipping or storage
Vary in purity due to cheap manufacturing shortcuts and lack of regulation

So while NMN is intriguing, most supplements on the market are serving you expensive optimism, not longevity in a bottle.

Verdict: NMN is still unproven. The science is early, the regulation is messy, and the quality? Questionable at best.

4. Collagen – For Muscle Building?

Collagen has been branded the “miracle protein” for everything from skin to joints to—somehow—muscle growth. Let’s not mistake marketing momentum for scientific merit.

Yes, collagen peptides can support skin elasticity and joint health, especially in certain hydrolysed forms. But for muscle growth?

Collagen lacks key anabolic amino acids like leucine, which is essential for triggering muscle protein synthesis (MPS).
Compared to egg or whey, collagen is about as effective for muscle as tofu is for a steak craving.

A 2022 study published in Frontiers in Physiology found that collagen peptide supplementation combined with resistance training can improve muscle strength and fat-free mass—but not because it stimulates muscle protein synthesis well. In fact, the anabolic response is less pronounced compared to proteins like whey, precisely because of collagen’s low leucine content.
Study link

Verdict: Collagen may help with joint support and strength—but for muscle growth, it’s the scenic route, not the express lane.

5. Apple Cider Vinegar Gummies: A Sweet Nothing

ACV gummies are marketed as metabolism-boosting, fat-burning, detoxifying miracle bites. Spoiler: they’re not.

The acetic acid content is negligible, especially compared to raw vinegar.
Most studies showing ACV benefits involve actual liquid vinegar—not glorified candy.
Oh, and they’re loaded with sugar. Because nothing says “metabolic health” like jellybean macros.

It’s diet culture disguised as wellness—clean-eating cosplay with a sour twist.

Verdict: Glorified candy with a health halo. Just use real vinegar—or skip it.

6. The Bro Stack Hallucination: Turkesterone, Fadogia & Fantasy Gains

In the gym-bro corners of the internet, there’s a recurring fantasy: that nature is hiding a legal steroid in some obscure root or insect goo—if only you combine the right herbs, chant “anabolic” three times, and shake it in your shaker bottle.

Turkesterone: The Natty Steroid That Wasn't

Data? Mostly insect and rodent models.
Human trials? Practically nonexistent.
Quality control? Laughable. Many products don’t contain what they claim—or contain way more of things they don’t list.

Without real, replicated human studies, Turkesterone belongs in the “looks good in a petri dish” category—not your supplement stack.

Fadogia Agrestis: From Rats to Ripped?

There are zero human clinical trials validating testosterone increases.
Some animal studies show toxicity risks at higher doses.
Often paired with Tongkat Ali and Shilajit in fantasy-stacks, more based on Reddit hype than real biochemistry.

Bottom line: If your stack reads like a Dungeons & Dragons potion recipe, you might want to double-check the science.

Verdict: Rodent data, Reddit dreams, and rogue dosing—fantasy gains, not facts.

7. You Can’t Supplement Your Way to a Third Leg

Despite what the shady ads say, there is no supplement on Earth that will make your penis grow. None. Zero. Zilch.

Shilajit? Might help energy and testosterone in deficient individuals.
Tongkat Ali? Maybe useful for managing stress-related hormone drops.
Maca? Great for libido and mood.

None of them increase penile tissue. You’re not growing a new limb; you’re just being taken for a ride—usually to the checkout page of a site with “.vip” in the URL.

Verdict: No supplement grows your penis. If it did, it wouldn’t be £29.99 on a sketchy site.

8. “Vaginal Health” Supplements: Reinventing the Wheel

Many products aimed at “vaginal balance” prey on outdated and toxic ideas about how women’s bodies should smell, function, and behave.

Cranberry extract? Helpful in the right form and dose—for urinary tract support.
Probiotics? Only select vaginal strains (like L. reuteri and L. rhamnosus) have potential benefits—and most products don’t contain them.
Chlorophyll? Said to “deodorize” you from the inside out. No studies. Just vibes.

The vagina is self-cleaning. It doesn’t need chlorophyll. It needs you to stop buying overpriced chlorophyll. These products aren’t just ineffective—they reinforce shame-based narratives about natural bodily functions.

Verdict: Most products exploit insecurity, not biology. The vagina doesn’t need reinventing.

9. Monatomic Gold: The Woo is Strong With This One

Ah, monatomic gold—perhaps the most esoteric nonsense ever to be encapsulated.

The claim? That this “high-frequency” substance enhances spiritual energy, DNA activation, and even grants access to other dimensions. Yes, really.

The reality? There’s no scientific evidence that “monatomic” gold exists in a stable form in supplements. And even if it did, your body wouldn’t know what to do with it. Your mitochondria aren’t looking for enlightenment. They're looking for ATP and magnesium.

This isn’t quantum biology. It’s alchemy fan-fiction sold at premium prices to people who think lab coats and crystal grids are interchangeable.

Verdict: Fake science, real price tag. You’re not ascending—you’re just getting scammed.

Final Thoughts: Big Mouths, Small Data

We’re living in the age of the influencer-expert hybrid—people with no scientific training, no regulatory oversight, and no understanding of basic biochemistry, telling millions what to take for their hormones, focus, libido, and spiritual alignment.

The problem isn’t enthusiasm. It’s misinformation disguised as innovation, and marketing masquerading as medicine.

If You’re a Brand:

Is this ingredient here because it works, or because it trends on TikTok?
Is the dose backed by research, or just rodent whispering?
Are we solving real problems, or creating them for sales?

If You’re a Consumer:

Ask for studies, not slogans.
Don’t buy from people who think ashwagandha cures taxes.
If a product promises miracles, it’s usually because it’s not offering results.

Let’s Build Better

The supplement industry doesn’t need more glitter, gimmicks, or gut-feeling formulations. It needs transparency, accountability, and a return to evidence-based thinking.

So whether you’re formulating, buying, or just browsing — lead with curiosity, demand real data, and always choose honesty over hype.

Further Reading & References

Tongkat Ali (Eurycoma longifolia):

Systematic review on testosterone improvement (2022, PMC)
RCT on testosterone and erectile function (2020, ScienceDirect)
Effects in middle-aged men with LOH (2022, MDPI)

Shilajit:

Probiotics (L. rhamnosus, L. reuteri):